Clearing the path with Daniel
Our guru is back with yet another amazing article! Emotional Empowerment Coach and Speaker, Daniel Dzikowski has new insights and he’s sharing them with us!! Damn we’re lucky…
His passion to guide people towards freedom by letting go and clearing their emotions has got us hooked! This emotional release is a healing mechanism that allows us to let go of that which no longer serves us and begin to discover a new sense of purpose and we’re so here for it…
How you Attract People and Circumstances into your Life
Why do we attract certain people into our life and why does it seem that the same events play out again and again? In order to answer that question, we need to change our perception. We need to understand that life brings us exactly the people that we need in order to help us grow in the most profound way. Even someone extremely challenging like an emotionally abusive partner or that difficult ex-husband or ex-wife is actually, at the soul level, here to help us. However, it may seem that on the surface this is not the case and that they are doing everything possible to hinder our growth. It may seem that their abusive words are designed to put us down and to make us feel insecure. It may seem that their stubbornness and antagonistic behaviour is designed to bring as much pain into our lives as possible. On the surface we could definitely say that all of this is true. It may also seem that the best course of action is to remove ourselves from that person as soon as possible. Let’s change perspective to examine another point of view and perhaps see things in a new more empowering way.
We Suppress our Feelings
As mentioned in my first article, as humans we all carry a tremendous amount of suppressed feelings. From a young age we are taught that we should not get upset, get angry and perhaps if we are male, we are often taught that crying is a sign of weakness. We are led to believe that there is such a thing as ‘negative’ feelings and feelings of that type are ‘bad’. In other words, we start to resist them, and we start to blame others for how we feel. The very act of labelling our feelings as negative or bad creates resistance in us to them. Everything we do is designed to lock our feelings into place and to suppress them. Even if we are the type of person to voice our feelings then inevitably if we resort to blame then we start to unconsciously suppress these feelings. Voicing our feelings with blame actually locks them into place.
We suppress so much and do this so often that by the time we reach middle age we are carrying an immense mountain of feelings and this is often shown by the things that trigger us. It is also shown by the movies we decide to watch. Many people get a thrill in watching action movies where inevitably our hero, using any means possible and usually by extremely violent means, decides to get retribution for a previous wrongdoing. These kinds of movies cannot be watched by people who have integrated their emotions at a deeper level and by that, I mean people who have let go of their anger or hate. They find these movies almost impossible to watch. The popularity of this type of entertainment in society really tells us how much pain and violence are actually inside us.
We Project our Feelings on to Others
Many of us get upset by the tiniest of things including what people say and what they do or do not do. This we consider natural. We then we throw our anger back at the direction that we believe the hurt came from. Unfortunately, we don’t understand that we are angry not because things make us angry but because that is what is hidden inside of us. Wayne Dyer once said, “when you squeeze an orange, you’ll always get orange juice to come out”. The question we have to ask ourselves is what comes out when we are squeezed?
We also create all these expectations and the reason we do is because we don’t want to experience pain. In other words, we don’t want to feel our unpleasant feelings. We want people to behave a certain way around us so that we don’t have to face our anger, shame, guilt, sadness or any other suppressed feelings we may be carrying. We change our outer world in order not to feel certain feelings. We become addicted to food, smart phones, work, alcohol and numerous other things because the temporary high we get distracts us from the unpleasant nature of what is suppressed deep within us. We spend all our lives running away from our feelings not understanding that it is these feelings that are the gateway to our freedom. These suppressed feelings unlock the doors to our happiness because beyond them this is what exists. These feelings ‘cover-up’ our inherent joy and when we let go of them that joy begins to shine. Our suppressed feelings are like clouds covering up the sun on a cloudy day. The sun is always present but only by removing the clouds can we really discover what is beyond them. When we let go of our suppressed feelings then we discover something truly magnificent. We return back to the state we left long ago.
How Life Brings Us What Exactly We Need
In order for us to head back towards our true nature and away from pain and suffering we are given pointers, directional signposts that show us the way. These are our feelings. The universe, god, life, whatever you want to call it is always there to assist us. From the very moment they become locked into place, suppressed feelings start to attract the very people and circumstances that will most help us integrate or release those feelings. Integration is a good word to use because it means to become more whole. It gives us a slightly different vantage point when it comes to doing our inner work and it is that which can make all the difference.
Our suppressed feelings are the energetic attractors
of people and circumstances of our life.
They are the causal points of our how and why we experience our lives the way we do. They are the main reason we feel the way we do. We do not feel upset because people make us upset. We feel upset because that is what is inside of us. Once our feelings are integrated then new events and people enter our lives. However, as long as these emotions are unintegrated or unreleased, we will continue to attract people and circumstances with a similar frequency. Often these people are the very people we don’t want in our life.
For instance, if we carry a lot of anger then we will attract angry people. The purpose of this is to help us integrate our anger. Once done, the same situation will no longer trigger us. In fact, that situation won’t even occur. People around us will begin to change and sometimes in the most amazing way. People that used to be difficult will suddenly shift in response to us integrating or releasing our stuck inner feelings. They will become more friendly, helpful and kind. Even people that you never thought could change will change in response to the inner work that you do.
The bigger the brick wall surrounding an individual the more energy is needed to break through. When we have a lot of pain deep within, we build up a pretty thick wall. No pain can get in but also no love can get out. We have shut ourselves down. Inevitably that will attract an individual that might on the outside seem be incredibly volatile or hurtful and in one respect that is true. However, they need to be this way to break through the barrier that has been built up.
An upset really is just a ‘set-up’ by the universe. The universe has brought us a ‘difficult’ person or circumstance to help us integrate the very feelings we have been running away from. Once accomplished there is no need to bring that person or circumstance into your life. Therefore, the outer world begins to change. The individual themselves might change or they might decide to leave your life. Another possibility is that you decide to leave. However, when you do, you feel nothing but love for the other.
True Influence
It is important to understand that unless you integrate or release your suppressed feelings then shifting to another partner or situation is not going to make you feel better in the long run. You will create more drama and inevitably attract the same kind of circumstances. This happens until you really see what lesson needs to be learnt and what feelings you need to face.
To many, the outer world changing in response to doing inner work may seem far-fetched but only when you have truly let go and integrated your suppressed feelings will you see how powerful this is. Integrate fear and you will be able to see circumstances and people clearly. In fact, any unintegrated emotion causes a distortion in your vision and therefore your ability to influence others diminishes.
To me this is one of the most powerful forms of leadership. Integrating at the emotional level enables you to influence everyone around you at the deepest possible level. You become a better parent, worker and partner. You have less need to control others and as you learn to love each and every feeling you experience, you also learn to love yourself. At that point, your words come from love and you begin to create the type of world you were always destined to create.
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